Trying and doing since 2001
for 12 March 2003.

Ringfinger

When I was in high school I was

a big fan of Nine Inch Nails.

My second concert was a Nine Inch

Nails show. It was pretty cool,

let me tell you. Trent smashed

his keyboard at the end by jumping

up and down on it and kicking

the keys off with his boot. Classic.

That's not what this rant is about

however. Track 10 on the Pretty

Hate Machine LP is a happy little

tune called "Ringfinger". It

is a metaphorical journey through

the perils of marriage. Allow

me to share the chorus: "ringfinger.

promise carved in stone. deeper

than the sea. ringfinger. sever

flesh and bone and offer it to

me" Peppy no? I thought it was

a pretty keen song when I first

heard it and I still think it

is pretty neat. I mean it so

luciously dark and dare I say...

edgy? Indeed Mr. Reznor paints

a cocaine fueled vision of how

fucked up a lifetime commitment

could be and it's one that I agree

with. There are many ways to

think about any issue and marriage

of course is no exception. Trent

portrays the ugly truth that when

you make a commitment to a person,

you make a commitment to a person.

The symbol of Trent's ring cuts

beyond just the real flesh of

the person who is wearing it but

into the psyche and behavior of

the couple that the ring binds.

They pledge to be with each other

in "sickness and health". For

some this means an end to the

weekly trip the nudie bar via

their coke dealer. I suppose

that Trent may find himself in

this category. For others it

means the establishment of a lifelong

friendship and partnership with

the goal of having a consistent

base of support and love. Of

course these are extremes. The

point is that marriage is a serious

endeavor and as such generates

a great deal of anxiety on the

part of those who are for and

those who are against such a thing.

As a youth my anxiety fell toward

the side of losing independence

and risk of divorce. As I sit

here typing as a engaged man,

I feel now that I haven't lost

my independence but gained a person

who I can actually share my life

with. An anecdote: When I was

19 years old I moved to New York

City. I was incredibly excited

when I arrived. I'm sure I looked

ridiculous as I rubbernecked at

the tops of midtown skyscrapers.

For about 3 months I felt elated

to be at the center of the world.

Before I arrived I wasn't even

aware of landmarks like Times

Square or Battery Park and as

I discovered the historic features

of the city and the newness wore

off I began to think that it was

a shame that I didn't have anyone

to share the moment with. That

was the beginning of my thinking

that being with someone didn't

mean that I would be shackled

to a ball and chain. Just the

opposite, it could mean that I

would freed from loneliness and

better than that have someone

that I would be able to grow with

and share my life with. Trent

is still cool though. He's dark

and brooding, which is nice cause

how fun would the world be if

it was just full of breeders?